Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Through the fine lens of Love and Care

Have you ever gotten a gift and when you looked inside it was sortof disappointing, not really something you'd expected? We all probably have at one time or another. A friend likes to tell a funny story about when he was a kid. Each year a birthday card would arrive with a check from an aunt. One year, however, he opened the card and there was only the card. And, much to his own chagrin now, he announced loudly- hey! where's my check!!??? He tossed the card aside, without reading, and walks away sulking. In his comical retelling he feigns opening the card, looking inside. In a state of shock he shakes the card and blows in the envelope, hoping against hope a check will magically appear. We have laughed over this story more than once, the humor so evident in the ridiculousness of his response. And, yet, there is a built-in expectation response at play here.

I thought of this story yesterday and it made me think about how each day opens up. I think about my life's choices and turns made that have brought me here. I think about my own living in a state of frequent disappointment and how that brought about low grade depression for too long as result. The things we are conditioned to expect as children shade our expectations so effectively and too often barely allows us to see what's actually in front of us.

So, yesterday, when I finally found my gardening apron with my clippers there were some old gloves in there as well. And, all I could think of was, "Oh great. These vinyl gloves are crumbling and disintegrating. What a mess! & I don't want to deal with this around all this wet paint...all I want to do it clip back the flowers so I can continue painting this side of the house." But, it wasn't crumbling gloves. Inside the apron were old flower deadheads that had broken into tiny bits of flyaway.

In fact, those gloves were just what I needed at that moment but I'd been so fixated on my need for finding the clippers and staying on course with painting that the old gloves were automatically seen as the annoyance. So, what did I need the clippers for? Trimming back a small rosebush . . .


icandy... said...

Ohhhh, how I've missed you!!!! I am sooo glad to have you "back" safe and sound...I just know that you had a wonderful time on the coast! Isn't it wonderful to be back home? Time away is always refreshing, but there really is..."No place like home"!!! It's back to the paint and putty, huh? That's such a rewarding work in progress~ I'll bet you don't mind a bit... and that post.... so much food for thought! You are such an excellent writer!
Love you!!!!!

Itch2stitch.com said...

What a brilliant and thoughtful post! It is true, until we meet the world with new eyes, we are forever stuck in our wants and expectations, and so risk missing what is in front of our noses! I learnt this a long time ago now, and funnily enough the painful disappointment of getting ill and my life going in another direction helped me to see clearly! I feel compassion for people who are locked in their own conditioning and the barbed wire of their own prisons. Thanks for the post Colette! Suzie XXX :)

Colette George said...

IT is SO nice to be home Christina! and it's great talking with you again!

Colette George said...

Love to you both!

Suzie, I love the visuals you bring with your writing-you nail my thoughts over and over again! thank you for sharing so opening and generously.


icandy... said...

I miss you! hope that you are doing great! How's the place coming along?
Christina (i mean, "M") :)))))))

Halo Hill said...

Hello! I totally understand. I do this to myself a lot. It always turns out better if we see the message at the end, doesn't it?



Colette George said...

yes, it does Sheila!! for every reason! (& that was profound and uncanny since I just now saw your note...!)

Hus to you!